Stephen Harper resigns admitting Prime Ministership ‘just an art project’
Wednesday, 13 May 2015 14:42 Written by Aaron Hagey-Mackay
OTTAWA – Shortly after Chris Lloyd, the Conservative Party candidate running against Liberal leader Justin Trudeau in the Quebec riding of Papineau, turned in his resignation by stating that his entire campaign was part of an art project, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, has also resigned, admitting that his entire political career, including the last nine years in which he has held the highest office in the nation, was also all part of an elaborate art project.
“As of this moment, it should be obvious to the people of Canada that I have never had any interest in governing, holding political office, or even the public good,” said the now former Prime Minister from his office on Parliament Hill.
“Those who know the real me know that I go by the chosen artistic name of Rainbowchild Dreamharp and my primary concern all along has been to gather the materials necessary to make a strong artistic statement about politics through the mixed-media of video, photography and anthropomorphic taxidermy.”
According to a media release, the statement his art project will make highlights the valuelessness of the political process in a postmodern society governed by productivity at the costs of our connection to the natural world by dressing rats up in suits and making them dance the macarena.
With the Prime Minister’s seat now open, other holes have been left in the government have been left by senior officials who appear to be a part of his artistic expression. In that same press conference, it was revealed that Leader of the Government in the House of Commons Peter Van Loan is actually a stuffed, shaved bear with a tape recorder inside of it, playing “we cannot comment as the matter is before the courts” on a continuous loop. Minister of Agriculture and Agri-food, Gerry Ritz, perhaps unsurprisingly, has been revealed to be a giant sculpted rice crispy square. And with Minister of Justice, Peter MacKay, expected to replace the Prime Minister, he reassured that he is, in fact, a real human being but that his body is definitely a work of art.
At press time, Stephen Harper says that he will be opening an exhibition on a small art gallery on Queen St. W in Toronto in three weeks and has applied for several grants to raise the money for a show he’s calling “Harper Image.”